Christian Album Covers

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You gotta love Ira North. However, it is scary to imagine Ira as a woman. He’s really creepy as a guy. But back-in-the-day, Ira and the other groups in this posting were selling albums like hot cakes or leisure suits. Seems pretty funny now. Kinda makes you wonder what the cool worship styles nowadays will look like to our grandkids. Anyway, enjoy the weirdness of yesteryear’s praise and worship. These groups make chanting Tibetian monks seem pretty reasonable.

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Cody needs to borrow a feelin’? Cody probaby needs to borrow a life. Forty years later, I’ll betcha that Cody is still living in his parents’ basement and hoping to get his nonexistent band together.

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Hmmm. Joyce looks just like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. I don’t think that’s a compliment for any woman in 1970 or 1980 or 1990…

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Jay Snell…world’s foremost authority on sex and the female. Well…gee..this guy works in a tent on the east end of somewhere. He’s probably a reliable resource on these matters.

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Jay…you’re scaring me, brother. I hope those confessions aren’t from when you were a teenage girl. No part of this scenario is good.

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Wow. I wonder what Sunday morning is like at Rev. Dr. James Wade’s church. He’s hammered…the choir is hammered…the organist is hammered…the congregation is hammered. The 12 Step Group that meets at that church will not help you. Do not go there.

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I can’t imagine this album title was appropriate in any society since the beginning of the world. Unless…we’re talking about a zombie society. And in that case…it’s fine. Maybe.

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Heaven’s Choo-choo? Dang. I don’t think that’s biblical. But I don’t think I’d challenge Papa Crawford on that. He’s definitely the conductor on that choo-choo. Do not cross Papa Crawford.

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That’s the famous evangelist A.A. Allen, folks. I have no idea what his primary biblical text was for this sermon. Pastor A.A., you gotta tighten up your theology.

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The Reverend in Rhythm. Father Robert White. I am betting that the good reverend’s rhythm is extremely White. Glaringly White. White ‘R’ Him.

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The Louvin Brothers apparently found themselves in Hell and decided to make an album. The boys made a nice choice of the white on white on white on white for the event. The Devil has a bigger gap between his teeth than me and Michael Strahan. He should get that fixed.

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Eddie…what did you do to your friends? Gulp. Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation has the same shoes. Must be an Eddie fashion statement.

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There are so many things the Agape Singers should be ashamed of. The obvious one is going to the prom with their mom. Not appropriate.

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I think I know which one is Al Davis. The big boy on the left. You didn’t want to get behind Al in the buffet line. The other Crusaders could tell you that.

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Yes…the Lord will pour out His wrath on the guy in the red leisure suit. That’s why Exciting Jerry put him over there by himself. Lightning bolts are coming.

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Yikes. The McKeithens are not alright. The adoring kids are all wearing leisure suits…including Sis McKeithen. And the matriarch of the family? She looks like the taxidermied mother from the movie Psycho.

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The Faith Tones. I think their hit song was about asking the Lord to use their hair as a habitat for endangered species. The Lord declined their offer. The endangered species are safer with poachers and natural predators.

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Oh my goodness. Mike…are you okay, buddy? You wore your special titanium jammies to the Glasglow concert.

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Wait a minute. Isn’t the mother and Joyce, the woman who looks like Dustin Hoffman, the same person? Nah. Joyce and Mama Cooper just get their hair and glasses from the same place. Mama Cooper/Joyce is still better looking than this smug looking husband.

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Um…Isabel…sweetie…getting your endorsement on style would be like getting a job reference from Hitler. It isn’t a good thing.

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The Country Church group performed only in barns. The cows and sheep really loved their style. Actually, barnyard animals loved Isabel’s style too.

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Kids…do you see this creepy old couple? If they ask you into their church or house or car…you run away real fast. Same goes for Ira North.

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You know…I can’t dispute Dave’s theory on this one. I just feel a little queezy seeing him prove it.

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Mattie had better not let that hair get too close to an open flame or her head will explode. Yikes. That hair might be covering an alien’s head.

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Kristerz group should be called The Larz We’ve Got Bad Rugs All Around Group. The hair bands of the 1980’s spun off the Kristerz group. They were the hair piece band of the 1970’s.

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What can you say about Ken? I think I’d like to request that Freddie Gage come down here and make friends with him. You could almost make a whole leisure suit out of his shirt collar.

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Well…yes…I would have confidence if I were this awesome. And so would you. These two remind me of Anna and Ruthie at that age. And Bud.

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Let Me Touch Him? That’s just a troubling thought. Yikes. No. We will not let you touch anybody…except that short guy on the far end.

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Wait a minute. Which one of these is Gert Jonnys? Well, maybe the one who looks the best in a little green vest? I think that means Gert is the robust, broadshouldered chap seated in the middle.

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