Monthly Archives: February 2017

Awkward Love and Respect!

tentative-people

Happy Valentines Day!!  You have probably heard of Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ 2004 award winning marriage book:  Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.  The book is built on a simple premise.  Marital success increases when women receive love and men, respect.  Eggerich’s ideas resonated with enough people that he sold 1.6 million copies along with workbooks, a sequel, and a gift book version.  The purpose of this blog post isn’t to endorse or critique Eggerichs’ work.  Simply view this as a tribute to people who fall through the cracks of the love and respect paradigm.

Take the above Valentines Day couple for example.  There’s a lot of passion behind those quizzical expressions.  If you can’t have love and respect you may have to settle for shocked and confused.  Could be as good as it’s gonna get.

A shout out to Awkward Family Photos for such great pictorial examples.  The photos themselves are funny even without my commentary.

undertaking-marriage

Love and respect wasn’t working for these nice people so they went all in with hate and contempt.   She is ready to stab the photographer in the face with the pointy corners of her glasses. The photo’s upward shot angle is because the photographer is cowering.  The broad shouldered couple made it real clear, “You can get off the floor after we leave.  Not before.”

voyuers-in-love

Voyeurism is wrong.  Straight up.  The one exception may be watching yourselves make out in the backyard.  That might be okay.  Billy chose his retro short shorts and Star Wars tee shirt for both kissing and watching.  Ain’t no love and respect here.  Only a strong dose of creepy and creepier.

sweat-pants-guy-with-wall

Ahmad clearly loves a smoke in front of his honeymoon duplex after a workout.  Ginny absolutely respects Ahmad’s dedication to fitness and his hairy tummy.   Both are looking forward to having tan, beige, and grey kids together.  And watching them play on their cement lawn.

scary-beehive-couple

Darryl just escaped from a maximum security prison.  He sure appreciates the way Shirley hid a hack saw, dynamite and a getaway car in her hair.  And the kids are ecstatic to have their daddy home.  Plus they are hoping there’s a pony in mommy’s hair.

naked-with-cats

Oh my.  This couple uses big kitties for clothing.  Little kitties really wouldn’t have done the job.  Love and respect pales compared to this shared cat fashion.  Just hope someone remembered to get the kitties declawed.  For real.

love-and-terror

Grammy and Grammpa have been married over 50 years.  Grammpa is excited that Grammy is wearing his favorite bacon scented perfume. Bacon happy Grammpy is feeling frisky.  Run Grammy.  “My little Baconator” is not a normal pet name.

drinking-and-waxing

Creative Valentines Day fun keeps the passion alive in any marriage.  Jeb and Tina don’t exchange cards and chocolates.  They just have a few drinks at the kitchen table and rip hair off Jeb’s pits.  Both Jeb and Tina  enjoy this stay-in date night activity.  They tried it once at a Panera but it just wasn’t the same.

both-pregnant

Uh oh. Look who’s jealous that his wife looks more pregnant than he does. Come on, George…after Rachel gives birth, you’ll be ahead again.  Really.  You will.  So chill.

awkward-pregnant-pointer

Sometimes you just gotta push reset to reboot the love and respect in a marriage.  Mitzy is so amused by Omer’s cute gesture, she’s going to head butt him right between the eyes.  That should give Omer a much needed reset of his own.

angry-depressed-people

And finally…Jake and Mavis just got home from date night at the Golden Corral.  Jake:  “Dadgummit, Mavis.  I et too much fried okra again.  I done got the vapors.”  Mavis:  “I know baby.  I know.”  Sometimes love and respect means that one of you gladly sleeps out on the porch that night.  Either one.  Doesn’t matter.

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